Wait a minute, while we are rendering the calendar
January
February
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December

David C Fisher

My Blog

Why Mediation?

Maybe the more important question to ask is, Why not? Some people are resistant to the idea of mediation simply because they think they are going to be asked to give up everything in order to reach a settlement. Others are reluctant because they do not understand the process or how it works. The vast majority of cases will settle at mediation so that should be encouraging to you. In this blog, I hope to give you some insight as to how mediation works, and steps you can take to make it successful.

First, the parties must choose a mediator. Sounds simple, right? Not always. Usually the mediator is chosen by the attorneys by their agreement and who they have had good success with. Obviously you want a mediator who has a knowledge of family law and some knowledge of the judges in your county where your case is to be decided. It goes without saying that a mediator must be a neutral party, and cannot have any predisposition for either the mother or father in the case.

Second, a date has to be chosen to allow for all of the parties, including the attorney's to be present. A mediator cannot give you legal advice, so it is always wise to have your attorney present to advise you as to the legal aspect of any agreement you may reach. Do not sign any kind of agreement at mediation without having a fully understanding of what you are agreeing to. Once the agreement is signed by all of the parties, it can be somewhat difficult to get out of it later.

Third, prepare for your mediation session in advance. I think it is a good idea to write down all of the things that you would want, if things were ideal and your former spouse or partner were going to give in to all of them. Keep in mind that you most likely will not walk out of mediation getting everything you want! If you have children, always keep their interests in mind and what would be best for them. When it comes to children, it is not about you and what you want, but what is in their best interest and keeping their world as stable as possible. You might star or asterisk items on your list in advance that you are willing to compromise on and areas that maybe you are not. Remember, everything is usually subject to negotiation or at least being mentioned at mediation, so try and be as open minded as you can. Be sure and have a discussion with your attorney to let them know what you are wanting and what your goals are for the mediation session.

Fourth, show up for your mediation session on time and ready to work hard to get your case settled! Mediation is not all about who gives in the most, its about working together to craft a solution that both parties may live with and best serves their individual needs and most importantly, the needs of the children.

Fifth, listen to the offers made by the other side that the mediator will tell you about. Resist the urge to immediately turn down any offer made. Carefully think through it, ask your attorney for their opinion, and if you need to counter, then express the reasons why the offer made is not acceptable, or communicate what parts you agree to and what you don't agree to, and why. It makes it more difficult for the mediator to help you if you don't communicate to them why an offer is not acceptable. By expressing your reasons why, the mediator may be able to assist your opposing party in crafting offers that would be agreeable.

Sixth, once you have reached an agreement, get it in writing while you are there. That way questions don't come up later of what was or what was not agreed to. Mediation does not always settle every issue on the first meeting, and if there are issues remaining separate those out and get in writing the specific things that were agreed to, so you don't have to revisit them later.

Last, don't forget to pay the mediator!

Rate this blog entry:
Continue reading
437 Hits
Featured

Welcome to my Blog!

Welcome to my blog! My goal and my hope is that you find this blog to be educational, informative, and entertaining… (lofty goals I know for a lawyer!) My aim will be to post an article each week and to not have all of them relate to law. Believe it or not, there are other things to write about! By doing things this way, I hope to keep your interest up in what I have to offer and say and also won't get bored with yet another law blog.

First, a little bit about myself. I am a lawyer, yes it is true, and have been practicing almost fourteen (14) years in Tulsa, OK. I am a sole practitioner and have been since 2008. Prior to going out on my own, I worked at Daniel, Baker & Howard in Tulsa focusing on insurance defense and then at Bonham & Howard, where my specialty became family law. The reason I chose to specialize in family law is because I enjoy working with people, helping them to solve problems, and helping them to be better parents for their kids while going through the stresses of a divorce. While I personally don't like it that people get divorced, I like to help people during this stressful time to try and minimize the damage that results from the breaking up of a family unit. I currently am teaching Helping Children Cope with Divorce which is a required class for parents going through divorce that have minor children. I have taught this class for seven (7) years and am the only practicing lawyer to teach this class.

Prior to becoming a lawyer, I worked at State Farm Insurance as a Fire Claims Adjuster. I worked there for eleven (11) years and really enjoyed my time and the people there. I was able to travel across the country handling disaster claims from Hurricane Andrew in Florida to the Northridge earthquake in California. Not to mention all the small towns between Florida and California for the numerous hail storms that like to happen in the Spring! While I still love the springtime, I don't miss climbing roofs in the heat to evaluate hail damage!

My educational background started at Eastwood High School here in Tulsa and then I moved to Metro Christian Academy where I graduated in 1986. I attended college at Oklahoma State University and graduated from there with a B.S. in Business Management. Law school had to wait a few years, had to wait until I grew up to decide what I wanted to do! I attend the University of Tulsa College of Law and graduated from there in December of 2001. I took the Oklahoma Bar Exam in February and passed it on my first try! (and yes, I am proud of that fact!) I left State Farm and started practicing law in June of 2002 and have been at it ever since.

In my spare time I enjoy anything Disney or Disney related, sports photography, music, and traveling. If you want to see some of my photos, check out my photography website: www.dcfisherphotos.smugmug.com

My family consists of my best friend, Jennifer, and three (3) outstanding children, Jessica, Zachariah, and Tyler. Jessica and Zach currently attend Oklahoma State University (taking after their parents) and Tyler attends Union High School. There, so now you know a little something about me and probably even a little more than you cared to know. If you have questions, concerns, or topics you think would be good for me to write about, please send me a direct email from my website or write an email to david@davidcfisher.com. Comments and opinions are welcome and I look forward to hearing from you!

Rate this blog entry:
Continue reading
459 Hits

Address

5200 South Yale
Suite 200
Tulsa OK 74135

Phone

OFFICE: (918) 794-3952
FAX: (918) 794-3954

Office Hours

9am - 5pm
Monday - Friday

Social Media

Facebook

Powered By New Day Media